[SPARK-17359][SQL][MLLIB] Use ArrayBuffer.+=(A) instead of ArrayBuffer.append(A) in performance critical paths

## What changes were proposed in this pull request?

We should generally use `ArrayBuffer.+=(A)` rather than `ArrayBuffer.append(A)`, because `append(A)` would involve extra boxing / unboxing.

## How was this patch tested?

N/A

Author: Liwei Lin <lwlin7@gmail.com>

Closes #14914 from lw-lin/append_to_plus_eq_v2.